The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to turn into a tree.

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The ability to know who is calling without looking at caller ID

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The power to think your dreams are real.

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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the power to be a snail when ever you think a bout snails but you CANT transform back

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The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The power to see via toe nails

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The power to feel the emotions of the dead ones

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The power to become powerless

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The power to realize that the alphabet does not need to be in any particular order

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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the power to breathe in space but have to be were there is gravity

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The power to control time by pressing your right elbow under your right armpit

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The power to turn anything into Oreos.

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Being able to poop your pants at will with no control over it.

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The power to never have fun...never.

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The power to fly 4 inches from the ground

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The power to sing wonderfully but at a pitch only dogs can hear

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The ability to pass out at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!