The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

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The power to make instruments taste mayonnaise.

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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The ability to give yourself any super power, but you cannot use it if it is used.

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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Invincibility, but you feel twice as much pain to everything

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The power to break a Nokia

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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The power to kill anyone who is 4 seconds away from certain death

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The power to push "pull" doors

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the power to misspell

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The power to see 1 plank length farther then most normal people

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The power to shoot rainbows out of your dick, the rainbows can pwn anyone if you smoked crack before using this power

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The power to Rage Against The Machine

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Super strength that works for a millisecond.

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The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The powaaaaaaa srry again..... The power to be come a parked car THEY SEE ME NOT ROLLING...... WOOOOOO

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the power to shoot what your looking at but only when your looking at watermelons

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!