Vanilla scented blood

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the ability to fly 5 centimeters above ground

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The power to rotten food.

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The power to sleep and never be disturbed.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to look at Sun.

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The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

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the ability to blow yourself

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The Ability to shit studs once a week

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The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to have no life and watch a whole tv series in a week.

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to poo without wiping.

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The power to kill anyone with your mind, In your imagination.

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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The power to revive anyone....But only if they are alive.

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the ability to die on command

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The ability to think why does it say write your own when you type it.

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the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

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The power to fall in love reptiles

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!