The power to smell through your arse.

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The ability to create bruises on your body but not know where they came from, and then poke them.-.Jack

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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The power to run at the average speed of a normal person running.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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the power to jizz money

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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The power to see through things but you can't turn it off once turned on.

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to resurrect dead insects

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to become a fish for 10 hours on dry land

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The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you are asleep.

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The power to melt plastic by standing perfectly still for a month.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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Power to not get pissed off after seing so many of this: "Power to turn invisible when no one is looking."

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!