The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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the power to smell like ham

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the power to pee while brushing your teeth

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to think your dreams are real.

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The ability to know who is calling without looking at caller ID

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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the power to be a snail when ever you think a bout snails but you CANT transform back

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The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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The power to feel the emotions of the dead ones

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The power to become powerless

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The power to realize that the alphabet does not need to be in any particular order

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!