the ability to blow yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The power to read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to shit on the ceiling

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The epic power of laser pointer vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

thumb_up thumb_down +95

the power to enter a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to defy gravity, but only for the fraction of a second.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power of becoming sick when you need it.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power of being able to see 1 day into the past

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to become THE APOCALYPSE But you are NOT FIT TO SURVIVE....

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to flush toilets with your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +89

the power to stop masturbating every day

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

thumb_up thumb_down +85

the power to see through people's clothing when they're naked

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The ability to get shot, for real.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to be special just like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!