The power to see 1 plank length farther then most normal people

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to melt butter with your mind when its hot outside

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the power to see everyone as a tree

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boo

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The ability to wake up at 3:45 am if you were sleeping, and not be able to fall assleeP again for 20 minutes.

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The ability to run faster than the speed of sound, but only when laying down.

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)

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The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The Power To Fly Without control

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to change your eye color.

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The ability to break & unbreak every bone in your body at will

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The power of having two left hands.

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The power to occasionally mistake your hand for a bear.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!