the ability to turn off your super ability.....

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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The power to know everything, but then forget every 7 seconds

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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The power to understand irony.

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the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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the power to read your own mind

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The power to get arrested

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The power to fly whenever you sneeze.

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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The power to release the bogus

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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the power to sleep with any woman, unless your a man

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The power to turn into a 90 year old woman with 20+ diseases

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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The power to eat pop-tarts as soon as they pop out of the toaster

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!