the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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Ability to fly 3 feet off the ground and at normal walking speed

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The ability to open a door that was already open.

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Infinite knowledge when dead

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Justin Bieber

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!