Justin Bieber

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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boo

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The ability to wake up at 3:45 am if you were sleeping, and not be able to fall assleeP again for 20 minutes.

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The Power to Die if you are dead

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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the power to turn into the hardest material in the whole of space but while in that mode you cant move

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The Power To Fly Without control

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to change your eye color.

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The power of having two left hands.

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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Being only half invisible.

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The left part of your body is fireproof but the right side is not

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!