The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

the power to read your own mind

The power to whenever your punched you cry a lot of asid that burns your flesh

The power to swim on land.

The power to absolutely nothing

The power to wish you had a power

the power to disappear up your own asshole

The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

making a sentence of pointless superpowers on pointlesssuperpower.com.

the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

The power to only see glass.

A power to turn into an ant, but only one Time.

the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

The power of attracting fired bullets

The power to know what you would look like if you were ugly.

The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

The power to break the tip of a pencil every time you blink

the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!