The ability to change the color of your socks while wearing shoes

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you are asleep.

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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the ability to spin gold into straw

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001

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The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The Power of Anti-Sex

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the power to have to pee on a long road trip and there are no bathrooms around.

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The power to put your pants on, two legs at a time.

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The power to not look up silly websites on the internet

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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power to make the most lethal fart know to man but only when you girlfriends is around

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The power to make up pointless superpowers

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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the ability to grow a boner to an incredible size but only when you are asked to come up to the front of the class

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The power to reverse age all the way into your fathers balls. Nero: Know my name and fear it.

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The ability to teleport a maximum of two inches.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!