The powers to blink at the speed of light

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

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the power to become demented

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The power to be skillful at everything but only while asleep.

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The power to turn 12% invisible.

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The ability to turn your penis into a vagina... but only if you're a straight man... and you can't change it back...

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The power to reverse age all the way into your fathers balls. Nero: Know my name and fear it.

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the power to turn wine into water.

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The power to toss you`re limbs at your enemies, but not to re-attach them.

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The power to elect George W Bush.

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The power to grow a mustache with your pubic hair

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The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

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The power to walk on water. Unless its above 0 degrees celcius.

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The power to be normal and average

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

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The ability to listen to music anywhere at anytime, but only if it's from the Jonas Brothers.

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The ability to discharge a battery - JW

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the power of shitting on your enemy at any tmie

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The ability to read the recaptcha images

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The power to sleepwalk only when u sleep

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!