the power to morph into yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to be on mars. Not survive, not go between mars and earth. You could just instantaneously be on mars, then probably die.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to make dead batteries appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to control mealworms

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to fly 0 feet in 60 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to create a pointless superpower

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to blow up, before a bomb next to you blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power of hindsight

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to grow more genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to die at will

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Invisibility, when no one is looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to defeat any ant you may encounter.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!