- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to turn back time and get the word "emit".

The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

The ability to die on command.

The power to remove cancer from stroke victim's bodies.

The power to fry and suffer harder than anyone when lit on fire.

to make your bowel work backwards

The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

the ability to only crap while on a toilet

The power to teleport......one nanometer every million years

power to drop the soap in the jail shower room

the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

the power to change people socks on command

All of aquaman's powers.

The power to kill someone with a knife

----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

The power to make any glass of water into milk

The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

Pointless Super Powers