Super speed, but with super clumsiness

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the power to turn a dollar into 99 cents

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The power to be oppressed by everything

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The power to grow a mustache with your pubic hair

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The power to cambiar el idioma de din kommentar at will.

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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The power to make money appear, but only when you don't want or need anything

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The power to sneeze whenever you think about apples.

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Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

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The power to fall down stairs sooner than you should have.

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The power to divide by zero

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The power to stop a bullet from hitting someone you care about, once.

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The Power To Make Justin Bieber.

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The power to impress a mentally disabled person by doing absolutely nothing

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The ability to jump 8 feet fences

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The power to look like Stephen Hawking but have none of his intelligence.

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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The power the ability to read minds but only on February the 30th 1783.

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!