the ability to make toast while standing on your head at 12:46 every Tuesday Greenwich Meridian Time.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The power to microwave bread

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The power to fly at the speed of light, but then your pants keep coming off!

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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the power to make your nose longer by 5 centimeter on command

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The power to be the most amazing singer in the world, but only when nobody can hear you.

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power to do everything that you can do.

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The power to make everything except yourself invisible.

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the ability to figure out exam questions, but only after the exam.

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The ability to part hair.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to know everyone's name before you meet them but you say it wrong every time

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The ability to perfectly recall the and only the third digit in a series of numbers.

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SHAPESHIFT - only into a guinee pig

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Nothing to see here, keep moving...

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The power to be born again

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The super power to power any electronics at will. But you need 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 Apms in your body to power a phone for 0,0000000001 seconds.

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The power to be and do whatever you want except living forever, only when you are dead

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The power to change traffic signals to anything that is not beneficial to you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!