The power to melt butter with your mind when its hot outside

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The ability to become visible at will.

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The ability to change the color of your poop

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The power to have a invisible boat mobile

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power of being able to punch everything so hard that it explodes.........BUT you are not resistant to the explosions.

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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The power to forget you have a super power.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The ability to part hair.

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The power to toss you`re limbs at your enemies, but not to re-attach them.

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power to type random pointless powers on a website for pointless powers.

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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THE POWER TO BE INVISIBLE WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING...

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The power to shrink your hand only when its inside a pringles container.

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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The power the ability to read minds but only on February the 30th 1783.

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The ability to shed one's skin like a snake.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!