The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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the power to sleep while standing!

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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boo

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to not see anything

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The power of being able to punch everything so hard that it explodes.........BUT you are not resistant to the explosions.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!