The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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The power to make only right turns. take THAT nascar!

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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The power to make school 24 hours , and making vacations for 30 minutes.

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The ability to fart, hiccup, vomit, crap, burp, laugh, cry, scream and sneeze all at the same time

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The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power to have a invisible boat mobile

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The ability to spontaneously get drunk, but only when writing your exams

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The power to tap dance awesomely, but only when wearing bunny slippers.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!