the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to not care.

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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The power to eat the same food but you have to throw it up first.

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The power to die using only your mind.

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The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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the power to turn yourself into a toaster. once,

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The power look completely butiful but Only in complete darkness

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The power to die at will

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The power to Rage Against The Machine

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to love me. Moral: I have enough of my own. HE TORTURES YOU BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOUR LOVE, I DONT TOUCH YOU BECAUSE I REQUIRE NOT YOUR LOVE, WHO IS YOUR GOD NOW! (still not me, Gods and super sayans are foolish)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!