- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

The power to go Super Saiyan in the toilet

The power to run at 0.5mph

The ability to jump 8 feet fences

The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

the power to fly, with a string atachted to you

The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

The power to turn 85 in 85 years.

The power to make a small chair appear -- one time.

The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

The power to turn cake into pie

The power to stop a bullet from hitting someone you care about, once.

The power to understand irony.

The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

All of aquaman's powers.

The power to release the bogus

The power to waste time and sit around doing nothing and not helping society when you could be doing something productive

the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

the power to walk on land.

The power to be fireproof under water

Pointless Super Powers