The power to understand irony.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The power to release the bogus

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the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power to waste time and sit around doing nothing and not helping society when you could be doing something productive

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The power to be fireproof under water

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The power to transform into anyone, but only in caricature form.

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The Power to enjoy Justin Beiber's music....

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

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The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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The power of fart only in front of cheerleaders

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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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The power to die from darting too hard

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!