The power to hear in the dark.

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The power to create a slight aroma of cucumbers

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to single handily tear one sheet of toilet paper from the roll

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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the power to melt your bones

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The power to die from darting too hard

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boo

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to listen to Meghan Straight talk

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to convert any font to comic sans at will.

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

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The power to piss your pants when ever a vowel is pronounced.

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To be small u could be step on because no one can hearu

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The power to control any O-shaped piece of metal.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!