The power to make every female cop want you... IN JAIL.

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the power to get in the van

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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The power to grow your fingernails .0001 centimeters a day

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the power to be friends with Donald trump

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the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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the power to walk thorugh a door if its lcosed

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the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

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The power to see you're self in a mirror

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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The power to always lie even when you don't want to and then you have to truthfully say that you were lying otherwise the closest person kicks you in the groins.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

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01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01111001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 (The power to type in binary)

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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the power to sit

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The power to count to infinity.

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!