The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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The power to only be able to eat poop

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The power to turn into a skittles bag

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The Power To Only Be Able To Move Yourself (including wheelchairs and all that) 1 meter in the entire life of the universe

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The power to make a small chair appear -- one time.

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The power of having enough money to buy anything, but in only pennies.

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The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

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The ability to police irony

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The power to take edible shits.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The power... to move you.

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The power to release the bogus

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The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to have hindsight.

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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The power to enter the dreams of people who regularly have night terrors

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The power to change the temperature by 1 degree, once every leap year.

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!