The power to fly, but only 1 millimeter above the ground, while moving at a speed slower than a snail.

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the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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The power to control yourself

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The power to not be able to touch any living thing.

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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The power to commit geniocide but only of you own race

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The power to take a crap.

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

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Superhuman strength at the expense of being completely paralyzed

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

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The power to lick your elbow.

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whenever you want to sleep an anime starts happening in real life

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The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

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The power to be able to study seriously, but still be clueless when test day arrives.

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The power to Grow a baby in a woman.... for 9 months.

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The power to turn cake into pie

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The power to grow bigger, but never smaller.

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to instantly tun any kind of meat into hotdogs.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!