the power to write on cellophane

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the power to turn a care package on black ops from dogs to ammo

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The power to sing with your buttcheeks

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The power to jump 1 inch higher than the typical person.

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The power to teleport to any 3rd world country

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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The ability to police irony

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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the power to misspell

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you do not need to eat but you have to sit

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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The Power To Lick My Own Penis

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the power to make rotten food go good again, but only if it's exactly 2 months, 4 days, 9 hours and 13 minutes old.

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!