the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The power to always lie even when you don't want to and then you have to truthfully say that you were lying otherwise the closest person kicks you in the groins.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

the power to jerk off

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The power to count to infinity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The power to change the color of your saliva.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to look at this thing - Browny the dow

thumb_up thumb_down -35

The power to laugh in Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +152

the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

thumb_up thumb_down +146

The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

thumb_up thumb_down +142

The power to waste money

thumb_up thumb_down +134

The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

thumb_up thumb_down +134

The power to lower the temperature in the room but only if you're cold

thumb_up thumb_down +130

The ability to watch movies in 1D

thumb_up thumb_down +128

the power to eat people :D

thumb_up thumb_down +124

the power to read your own mind the power of 75% levitation the power of turning into a juicy pork chop in the presence of a lion the power to believe it is butter the power to turn into a blender once and never change back the power to cry acid the power of turning highly visable while trying to sneak the power to speak, sneeze and cough really loudly and annoyingly the power to teleport half of your body the power to age extremely fast the power to have the patience to write this the power to read all of these d pwer 2 rite stupeedlee the power to thumbs down this (it also makes you look stupid) the power to only speek in sarcasm the power to see the past (not the future) emit eht lla sdrawkcab etirw ot rewop eht

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!