Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to see the future five days after it has happend

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The power to hear in the dark.

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the power to change people socks on command

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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the power to turn into a tree

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the power to melt your bones

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to be Justin bieber

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the power to catch em' all

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!