The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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The power to wipe your ass with one confetti

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the power to send text messages while driving

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The power to be writing a pointless superpower on a website about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The ability to police irony

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The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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the power to misspell

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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you do not need to eat but you have to sit

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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the power to make rotten food go good again, but only if it's exactly 2 months, 4 days, 9 hours and 13 minutes old.

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The amazing ability to hack peoples profiles only when they're logged in.

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The Power To Fly Without control

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The ability to have udders for nipples.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!