The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The ability to instantly make all your clothes vanish but only when you're in a job interview

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power to live,but only when you are dead

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The ability to walk slower than everyone else

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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The power to seduce any woman but only if you're gay

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Justin Bieber

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The power to do something as powerful as thin air

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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the power to shape shift to yourself

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The power to eat as many ice cubes as you want without getting a brain freeze.

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The power to burst into flames (Like the Human Torch), but immediately burn to death after doing so.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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The power to control time by pressing your right elbow under your right armpit

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constantly flowing sexy anime hair.

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The power to overcome any addiction by constantly doing whatever you are addicted to.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!