The power to be super jewish

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The ability to catch bullets traveling under 5 mph

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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The power to take perfectly timed photos when nothing interesting is going on.

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to be Justin bieber

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the power to catch em' all

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to wake up every morning in a corn field 36miles away from home

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the power to have a pointless superpower

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the power to flick a coin and get heads 50% of the time.

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The power to have sex with any woman you want, but you are gay

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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The ability to look at yourself in anything, except a mirror.

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The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

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the power to eat people :D

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The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!