The abilty to change what your hair smells like every two years

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to have excellent wifi when all your devices are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power of compulsive lying.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

thumb_up thumb_down +171

The power to grow plants, only using your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +151

The power to have sex with any woman you want, but you are gay

thumb_up thumb_down +141

The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

the power to eat people :D

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to control yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

thumb_up thumb_down +133

The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

the power to fold a piece of paper in half 8 times

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The power to change $100 to 100 $1

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The power of total invulnerability and immortality, stops working when you get hurt, or die.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

Super speed, but with super clumsiness

thumb_up thumb_down +125

The ability of holding your breath for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The ability to turn your penis into a vagina... but only if you're a straight man... and you can't change it back...

thumb_up thumb_down +121

The power to have diarrhea at any time

thumb_up thumb_down +121

The power to make only slightly funny jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!