You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

thumb_up thumb_down +66

THE POWER TO NOT HAVE SUPERPOWERS! ...............ever

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

the power to turn into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

the power to catch em' all

thumb_up thumb_down +52

the power to be Justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +52

the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to slowly float upward with awesome evil aura whenever you laugh evilly (just like in the movies/anime/etc) Only to realize you are stuck up there until someone gets a crane or something to get you down...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the power to shoot rocket out of your hands,but it only come to you

thumb_up thumb_down +151

The power to know who farted at any time.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

the power to flick a coin and get heads 50% of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

The ability to look at yourself in anything, except a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power of extreme superstrenght, you scratch you`re nuts and planet earth explodes from the vibrations.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to change $100 to 100 $1

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!