The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The power to have 50%-78% water in your body

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The power to uncontrally boop

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

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Acid tears.

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The power to read everything 2 seconds faster than usual

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The power to make remotes invisible

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The power to see everything that will happen in your future life when you die.

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The power to turn your navel upside down

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The power to close your eyes and drift off to a state of unconsciousness.

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The power to die while dieing

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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Justin Bieber

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The power to seduce any woman but only if you're gay

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!