The power to turn 85 in 85 years.

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The power to climb up fallen trees

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The ability to change your weight

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The ability to turn anything into a belt.

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The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

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the power to make a fart that kills people when no one is around you

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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The power of attracting fired bullets

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The power to eat pop-tarts as soon as they pop out of the toaster

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The power to make every single person in the world hate you and want you dead.

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The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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The power to get laid by your right hand.

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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The power to be able to turn invisible in the dark.

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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shit and piss at the same time

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!