- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to be Chuck Norris

the power to make food shrimp.

The power to not get shit dick

The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

The ability to be blind, deaf, and mute at will.

the power to burn your school down from napalm farts.

ability to levitate using my fart...

the power to produce millions of dollars but be stranded on a deserted island!

The ability to type incredibly fast when your keyboard is broken.

The power to change any of your friend's name to Tom but only if their real name is Thomas.

the power to think of useless super powere like this one

the power to summon a massive midget

The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

The amazing ability to shoot any liquid substance out of your eyes, with a requirement being you must douse your eyes with the substance beforehand.

the power to eat bread

The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

The power to poop almost instantly, but you always have the runs.

The power to shit yourself on a really hot day with no change of underwear

The power that will grant you no power.

The power that when you sit down you fall through the seat

Super strength that works for a millisecond.

Teh pewer off havin noo sentense speeled rite.

The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

Pointless Super Powers