Ability to sneeze n cough and sounds like a fart

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The Power to fly for 13.56 Seconds on a Sunday afternoon after looking at a penny and spinning for 46 and a half times.

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The ability to constantly touch yourself.

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The ability to teleport.... 1 Centimeter from your current location, It also takes 5 hours to be able to teleport again.

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the power to animate condiments

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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The ability to summon a used cottonbud once in your life

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The power to talk and listen at the same time

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The power to turn rice into cooked rice with your hands, but only exactly one rice at a time.

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The power to turn off anyone else's high beams.

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The power to shriek so loud your own eardrums cause nuclear explosions

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The power to change your mind

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The ability to make someone love you but only if they are heavier than 300kg

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The power to sing "Friday" by Rebecca Black, but only on Wednesday.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The ability to defecate red clay bricks when startled or scared

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The power to eat just one Lays potato chip

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The power to uncontrollably say a pun every sentence during funerals

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The power to be a mistborn but only if you're on Scadrial.

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The power to guess a multiple choice answer correctly some of the time.

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The power to dissasemble yourself, but not re-assemble yourself.

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The ability to switch out elevator music with NPR

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The power to have a perfect wipe every time you take a poop.

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The power to shoot billions of neutrinos from your hands at an enemy.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!