The power to grow your fingernails .0001 centimeters a day

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Teh pewer off havin noo sentense speeled rite.

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The power of getting 5 cent shoes every year. Follow @lucb65 (Instagram)

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the power to pee for longer then a normal person

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The power to be superman with no power's

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to have laser vision but it is 2 times worse on your eyes.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to move in slow motion whenever running away from danger. Moral: Hilarious! XD

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

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The ability to shoot apples, but they disintegrate in mid-air. Also, the apples are tiny.

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The power to light glue on fire.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power to look like yourself

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The power to lower the temperature in the room but only if you're cold

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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the ability to grow a boner to an incredible size but only when you are asked to come up to the front of the class

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!