The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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The power to jump over mountains but die when you hit the ground.

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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the ability to die but to reappear as a strange families pet turkey

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The power to see through windows

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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Have all the superpowers there is in one milisecond every 100 years (If your still alive)

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The power to sleep anytime and anywhere in an instant, but, u can never blink.

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The power to run Crysis.

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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The power to not constantly thumb my comments up or down, whichever. Moral: Energy spent on me, is energy well spent! Stay proud and walk tall soldier!

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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The ability to add any two numbers and get 5

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The power to sleep while you're awake.

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The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

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The power to communicate with sperm.

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The power to fail a test everytime

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!