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The power to be fluent in every language but only when your head is fully submerged underwater.

The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

Tha ability to not be able to fly

The power to be missed when present.

The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

Immunity to curable diseases.

The power to die every time you are standing on something.

The power to punch anyone as hard as you want but get hit with the same force in your genitals

The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

The power to release the bogus

To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

The power to have hindsight.

The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

The power of x-ray vision but unfortunatly your blind

The amazing ability to shoot any liquid substance out of your eyes, with a requirement being you must douse your eyes with the substance beforehand.

The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

Pointless Super Powers