the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to remove cancer from stroke victim's bodies.

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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being black

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The ability to type incredibly fast when your keyboard is broken.

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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The power to lose this power.

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The power to read everything 2 seconds faster than usual

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The ability to look at someone and die.

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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the power to change people socks on command

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The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

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The power to die while dieing

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!