the power to send text messages while driving

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The power to use very big words but only when your at a retarted people convention

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The ability to smell colors

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

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The power to actually ENJOY Dora the Explorer.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power to think of words that rhyme with orange.

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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being black

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The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

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The ability to type incredibly fast when your keyboard is broken.

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!