The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to grow your pinkie toe to ten times its actual length, but only while your shoes are on.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

The power to be invulnerable to any type of bullets except lead and copper.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to correctly guess how old shag rugs are

thumb_up thumb_down +58

the power to beathe

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to make your left hand glow whenever you put your right hand up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to never be old but died at young age

thumb_up thumb_down +40

the power to say the power to say the power to say the power to say.....

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to vote for the Presidential candidate of your choice, only to be overruled by the Florida Supreme Court.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The ability to shoot apples, but they disintegrate in mid-air. Also, the apples are tiny.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the power to have super strength but only while your sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power to become normal the point is he has no powers

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The power to accidently find all spoilers online before you watch a film or an episode of a series.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The power to eat soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The power to find pokemon attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The ability to sleep but only when you don't want to

thumb_up thumb_down +163

The power to love Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +133

The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

thumb_up thumb_down +133

The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!