The power to plank

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The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The power to push "pull" doors

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The ability to look at someone and die.

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The power to Grow a baby in a woman.... for 9 months.

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the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

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The power to make grass grow 1cm longer than usual.

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The power to whenever you watch tv you can only watch commercials.

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The power to burn the sun.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to become famous on vine

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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the power to know when the pope is taking a dump

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The power to read an animal's mind, but only when they're in a vegetative state.

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The ability to just 1 meter high, but whenever you do so you lose a meter from your height, only to regain it when you hit the ground.

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The power to have laser vision but it is 2 times worse on your eyes.

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to not blink for 5 seconds

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The power to be toilet paper and never run out of paper but still keep your sense of taste

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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The power to solve any mathematical question, but getting frozen immediately, and forget everything when melted out.

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The ability to change races.

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The power to have an ability.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!