The power to be fluent in every language but only when your head is fully submerged underwater.

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The ability to police irony

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The power to make a small chair appear -- one time.

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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the power to have powers (super strength,speed ,and flight) in a minute only.

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The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

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The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

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lol

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to die

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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The power to die just by trying to use the word l...

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The power to stop time whenever you get stabbed in the liver

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!