- Pointless Super Powers

The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

The power to wiggle your toes unless they're tomatoes..

The ability to pronounce the word "rural."

The power to delete the "missing a finger" comment on shitbrix.com.

The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

The power to summon huge snowstorms, but only on the weekend.

the powr to reed thiss befor you relisze the that thiss peersoon is retarded

----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

The power to make my own sandwich

The power to see even though you can already see.

The power to read all these post's in less then a day

the power to get F's on assignments without trying

The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

The power to have an ejaculate in your pants by looking a girl in the eyes.

The power to correctly guess how old shag rugs are

The ability to turn anything into a belt.

The power to get extreme orgasms random, often in very awkward situations.

The ability to generate bellybutton lint at will.

The ability to pull open push only doors

the power to know everything even the meaning of life but you can not talk

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!