- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

to randomly self destruct at any time

The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

The power to remember and talk about random Pokémon facts during a life and death situation.

th eability to have sex with anyone in the world but have to have sex with rosie o'donnell first

to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

The power to fly if you are eating.

The power to be fireproof under water

The power of x-ray vision but unfortunatly your blind

The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

The power to like any show

The power to read minds but only when you're alone

The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

The power to smile uncontrollably.

The power to freeze time, but not unfreeze it.

The power to enter the dreams of people who regularly have night terrors

the power to walk thorugh a door if its lcosed

The power to die.

The power to feel the emotions of the dead ones

The power to remove your foreskin at any given time

The power to go to sleep for 7 hours a day

Pointless Super Powers