The power to shriek so loud your own eardrums cause nuclear explosions

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The power to turn red apples green over 15 days by eating them with a knife and fork....

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The power to fly... but you are a paralytic

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The power to be powerless

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The power to turn on your computer from a distance. But you need to turn on the power switch.

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The power to shoot billions of neutrinos from your hands at an enemy.

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The ability to make someone love you but only if they are heavier than 300kg

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The power to mind control your car when you close your eyes

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The power to uncontrollably say a pun every sentence during funerals

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The ability to turn invisible, but only when everyone in the room has their eyes closed.

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The power to taste the food you deficate

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the power to animate condiments

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The ability to switch out elevator music with NPR

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The power to sing "Friday" by Rebecca Black, but only on Wednesday.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to make someone orgasm by looking at them, but only when you're having sex with them.

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The power to dissasemble yourself, but not re-assemble yourself.

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the ability to hear yourself think

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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The power to walk through a unlocked door.

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The power to read the minds of the mentally disabled.

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The power to heal...... Your Opponent

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The power to create tree sap.

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the power to f**k your family all at once

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!