the power to shit with your mouth

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A good Kisser

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to make any woman fall in love with you, only when your wife is beside you.

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The superpower of surviving a gunshot, if properly attended in a hospital afterwards.

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The power to make water come out of your fingertips in a slow trickle, the way it looks in the shower.

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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The power to turn brass into gold, but only when the brass is made of gold.

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the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

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The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

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a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

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The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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the ability to talk to humans

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Breath powers so strong your normal breath alone can break down walls whenever you get a cold.

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The power to wave your hands without ever tiring

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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the power to itch your teeth

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The power to time travel two seconds into the future.

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The power to turn into an escalator

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The power to wiggle your toes unless they're tomatoes..

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The power to type any password only if some one tells you the password first.

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The power to teleport anywhere at the cost of your life.

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The power to skip the Kripp.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!